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The group outing, that wasn't suppose to be a group outing yesterday, was pretty much a failure, a BIG FAT GREEK(well not Greek) failure.
I think as a collective group of friends we have all grown/not grown in different ways which is to be expected, but has also made us different people, more so than before/years past. I still love all my homie g'dogs. But i know big holes and gaps in eachother friendships have grown and i don't see any foreshadowing of them being filled in. Jake said last night that after the events OF last night that he is going to just leave things the way they are (well he was doing that before, except for the whole yelling at Elsbe thing which was completely not normal for him, and was not carried out as i would have thought he would towards someone he considers a friend).
yesterday afternoon/evening was a mix of things that couldn't possibly come together to form anything productive. I mean there was Jake inviting himself, Landa being "made" to go because she had said that after last Tuesday's phone call of jake to elsbe that she would not be going on any group outings, Bobbie not wanting landa there as usual and Jake not telling her that she was coming (she also didn't know he had invited her, or at least said we should invite her), there was Elsbe wanting to just have her time with bob ( i guess that is what it was). I could tell she wasn't up for a group thing. Though i don't know the exact reasons since so many secrets are now kept between her and landa, and landa and me. I know if i was in her place, that after Tues. i wouldn't be in a hurry to spend any time with Jake( btw he denys yelling at you Elsbe, he said he never yelled-even asked hismom if he was yelling on the phone with you, when i was with himand his family wednesday). It is also funny how i get two different stories from Landa and Elsbe about things now, so obviously there is some things that one of them don't want me know and somethings that i'm not suppose to know. This should be real interesting if i gt into a real conversation with either of them about this stuff in the future. There also seems to be some tension when ever i am with jake, and there is a group thing. I don't know what i'm suppose to do. The guy hadn't even kissed me until he dropped me off last night- we have been going out for how long? It was about time and i don't think he would have even done it then if it hadn't been for certain circumstances. Oh well.
If any of the things i have said are wrong, I'm sorry. I jsut wanted to write what i felt was happening and i think i'm done now...
all writing © cocacolakec; layout by coyotesabre; image from timgods graphics, edited by coyotesabre.